Fandom Heartless
by Infamousplot
Summary: Some of Ansem's lost journal entries were never found... They spoke of strange Heartless that didn't feed off of hearts, but of... Shipping. Hear what Ansem has to say about the Yaoi, Yuri, Crack, Cargo and Mary-Sue Heartless and how they affect KH...
1. The Yaoi Heartless

**Wow, I can't even remember how I came up with this idea... All I know is that Fear and I (hah, big surprise) were talking about a fanfic, and somehow this came up... The Yaoi Heartless. It stalks its unsuspecting prey and screams yaoi pairings at them XD It eventually bridged out, until there was also a Yuri Heartless, Crack Heartless, and the two new babies just created today: The Cargo Heartless and the Mary-Sue Heartless(es).**

**Just so you guys know, the Yaoi Heartless is not meant to embody yaoi fangirls. Okay, maybe the crazy ones. But for those of you out there who like KH yaoi, or any kind of yaoi, don't worry, I'm not attacking you. If I did that, I'd be attacking a part of me too...**

**Disclaimer(s): Ansem, Axel, and all other characters are property of Nomura.  
>Pluto is property of Disney<br>Heartless are property of Squeenix  
>The Yaoi, Yuri, Crack, Cargo and Mary-Sue Heartless are property of Infamousplot and Fear the Silly People, and to use them you must get MY permission first ;3 Now, enjoy!<br>**

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><p><em>Ansem's Log: Entry #371 ~The Yaoi Heartless<em>

The Yaoi Heartless is a peculiar creature. Like many heartless, it was spawned from a being that lost their heart. The Yaoi Heartless is said to have come from the heart of a boy named Lea...

Why Lea's heart decided to become such an insane creature has been lost on me. After all, there were plenty of plausible specimen it could have been born from. My original theory was that it had something to do with the amount of yaoi pairings Lea had. Unlike other Somebodies like Sora, Lea had two main yaoi shippings (Isa and Ven) while Sora only had one (SoRiku). However, upon further speculation, I realized that Ven had much more (Terra, Vanitas, Lea, Isa, Ienzo, Sora, and God knows who else), not to mention my pupils and even myself. Of all these males being paired with other males, why choose Lea? Perhaps, it had some sort of ability to see the boy's future?

This may just be the case, considering what his Nobody Axel has become. Upon becoming a Nobody, a male will gain at least 11 yaoi pairings -one for each member, plus all the non organization characters they are shipped with. Axel gained his main yaoi pairings (AkuRoku and AkuSora) along with many other popular pairings with Demyx, Saix, Marluxia, Riku, and even Pluto. There are bound to be stranger ones as well. Ranking in as the fandom bicycle, Axel holds the title for the male character with most pairings: Yaoi, Het, or otherwise.

However it was the Yaoi Heartless came to be, all that is known of its birth is that it came from Lea after his heart was stolen and sat upon him until he awoke as a Nobody. When he awoke as Axel, it began screaming "LISA!" (a shipping name for LeaxIsa).

The Yaoi Heartless is presumed male odd since yaoi is aimed toward females, and is a bright yellow color with black markings. It stalks unsuspecting prey, shouting out yaoi pairings when they least suspect it. It likes to target those with weak minds, since they are easier to manipulate. Its most well-known tactic is to come up behind two males and scream their pairing. It will then barrage its stunned victims with as many yaoi pairings as it can think of, though it prefers to stick mostly to the pairing of the men present in hopes it may see some action. Those usually depicted as Uke are more easily susceptible to the Yaoi Heartless's attacks, and even the strong minded can be reduced to glomping the other male and confessing love for them.

So far, the most effective ways to defend oneself against the Yaoi Heartless is to:

A: Think of a hot girl. It doesn't matter if you have to exaggerate the details a little. As long as you don't think about any males, especially the one you're with, the Yaoi Heartless will have a tougher time breaking through the barrier.

B: Scream out Het pairings. The Yaoi Heartless can't stand them. Canon pairing are the best choice, though crack pairings may disorient it.

C: Produce a cockblock. For those trios of friends that have two guys and one girl (and God known, here in Kingdom Hearts we have no shortage of those), that one girl is the perfect thing to ward off the Yaoi Heartless. Shout the name of the pairing or have her hug one of the guys. This is sure to chase the Yaoi Heartless off.

It's not yet known if the Yaoi Heartless feeds off the desires of crazed yaoi fangirls and rotten girls, or if they are influenced by it. I assume that it seeks out the fantasies of fangirls -no matter how much they may like it -and powers itself with their fanfic/fanart ideas. It is known to track its prey throughout fandoms -it is not limited solely to Kingdom Hearts -and it has been spotted whispering to a certain blonde Nobody who loves getting new ideas for fanart...

This concludes my chapter on the Yaoi Heartless. If I find any more information, I'll be sure to log it.

~Ansem

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><p><strong>Woohoo! And that concludes the first chapter ^_^ They're gonna be Ansem's journal entries so it can stay Kingdom Hearts... This way, it'll make sense when i use these Heartless in other fics... If you ever want to use them, just make sure you credit me -And let me know, I'd love to read whatever you write ^_^<strong>


	2. The Yuri Heartless

**As usual, this didn't get read very much. I didn't expect it to though, after all it's not really about a certain character... Oh well, thanks to those of you who did read it. And if you read it and didn't review... Shame on you. Do you want the Yaoi Heartless to eat your soul? DO YOU!**

**Ahem. Sorry about that. Anyway, I'd like to introduce to you the lesser seen cousin (or possibly twin)**** of the Yaoi Heartless, the Yuri Heartless. Ansem barely managed to get any information about this elusive little shadow, but everything he got he put in here. **

**Once more, these babies ish mine, and if you take them the Yaoi Heartless will eat your soul. Enjoy ^_^**_  
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><p><em>Ansem's Journal: Entry #324 -The Yuri Heartless<em>

I've recently spotted another bizarre form of heartless, one quite similar to the Yaoi Heartless.

It looks like a normal shadow heartless (much like the Yaoi Heartless does) with the exception that it is pink, with a small red bow on one antennae and black markings similar to that of the Yaoi Heartless. And, like its cousin, it also has a habit of stalking its prey and shouting pairings at them. However, this obviously female heartless seems to prefer stalking girls. I've decided to call it the Yuri Heartless, for obvious reasons.

Origins of this Heartless are unknown. Considering the birth of the Yaoi Heartless, I assume that the Yuri Heartless was born from someone when their heart was stolen. The question is, who? Yuri pairings aren't very common in Kingdom Hearts -or at least, they are flooded and swamped with so many yaoi pairings that it's hard to find them. The Yuri Heartless seems to embody the state of said pairings in the fandom: it is very hard to find, and it isn't as feared as its more well known cousin.

I managed to follow it on several occasions, and on one I spotted a rare sight indeed -the Yuri Heartless interacting with the Yaoi Heartless! From the safety of the bushes, I managed to watch their encounter. The two circled each other like cats, hissing and clawing threateningly at each other but never once touching. However, it was the Yuri Heartless that left the scene first, and the Yaoi Heartless remained long after it. Clearly it is the dominant of the two, mimicking the presence of Yaoi vs Yuri shippings in the fandom.

After this sighting, I reached a dilemma in my research. Before I had been conflicted on whether or not the Yaoi Heartless fed off of the fandom, or if the fandom was influenced by its presence. Now that I have discovered the Yuri Heartless, and how the two mimic pairings in Kingdom Hearts, I am left to wonder.

The Yuri Heartless appears to be slightly smaller than the Yaoi one, just like yuri is less prominent than yaoi. The question is, is this because of the fangirls and boys, or are their preferences affected by the presence of these two heartless? The fact that their appearances and behaviors mirror that of yaoi and yuri shipping in Kingdom Hearts must be more than a mere coincidence. Whichever influences the other though, wouldn't that make the Yuri Heartless smaller? Yaoi seems to have reign over Kingdom Hearts, while Het pairings also have a wide range. Seeing as the Yaoi Heartless is the same size as a shadow, wouldn't that make the Yuri Heartless tinier? Has it managed to influence more females, or is it feeding off some secret source I haven't discovered yet? I must continue my investigation... For science, of course! I-I would never look at those sorts of things in my own free time!

Ahem... Now, where was I? Oh, yes, the Yuri Heartless. Like it's cousin it has a powerful influence over its prey, however it stalks females rather than males. It's safe to assume it doesn't have as much of a hold on its prey as its cousin, depending on how prevalent Het is in the fandom. It likes to stalk young, pretty girls and corner them while they are alone. It despises males, and in most cases flees whenever one is spotted -this made it quite hard for me to study it closely. Luckily, I managed to get close enough to see its markings by...

...

Never mind. Anyway, it loves Les Yay, and uses those opportunities to try and influence young girls. In most cases, the best way to avoid influence is to think of an attractive male. As previously mentioned, having a male present in very helpful.

Other than that, the Yuri Heartless is extremely similar to the Yaoi Heartless, in both appearance and behavior. Anything else on it is unknown. Regardless, I must continue my research. Were these two heartless spawned to mirror the world of shipping, or is shipping influenced by them? And why would the Yuri Heartless be female and the Yaoi male when said shippings are meant to please the opposite gender? So many questions... Hopefully, I'll come across some answers...

~Ansem

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><p><strong>I feel bad for the Yuri Heartless. ;; It has to live in the shadow of its popular cousin. This is a shout out to all of the yuri fans who get pushed under by yaoi. The Yuri Heartless loves you and is on your side!<strong>

**Next is the Crack Heartless, where we'll discuss these crazy Het pairings... Because they're just as crazy as yaoi and yuri pairings are... Now, REVIEW! Or the Yuri Heartless will steal your soul.**


	3. The Crack Heartless

**Wow! Thanks you guys... This is doing much better than I had hoped ^_^ Thank you for your reviews, I hope you continue to enjoy this. And if you do want to use these guys, I'm just a PM away! Now, one review pointed out how crazy Het shippings can get... This is so true. Which I why I bring you the Absolutely-Anything-Goes Crack Heartless. Enjoy!**

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><p><em>Ansem's Journal: Entry #337 -The Crack Heartless<em>

Just when I thought I'd seen the last of these odd heartless, another variety of shadow appeared before me: a heartless I have dubbed the Crack Heartless.

Like its cousins, the Yaoi and Yuri Heartless, the Crack Heartless has the shape of a normal shadow heartless. Instead of being black though, it is a pale grey color, with white eyes instead of yellow. Its antennae droop down more than a normal shadow heartless's would, but other than that the anatomy is identical. It bares no strange markings, though it is strangely social.

The Crack Heartless is indeed an oddity. Like its cousins it shouts pairings that can traumatize and influence its targeted prey, but it isn't as hostile. In fact, the Crack Heartless is quite friendly. Just the other day, as I was watching it from a safe distance, it sensed my presence and came running over. I was nervous at first, but the Crack Heartless came right over to me and began nuzzling my leg. It appeared to be quite harmless, at first, and even let me pet it -far more docile than any other heartless. However, after a few minutes it sat down and began shrieking unsettling things. If I remember correctly, it shouted the following pairings:

"AnsemKai!"  
>"AnsemAqua!"<br>"AnsemAerith!"  
>"AnsemSelphie!"<p>

I was taken aback by these unimaginable pairings, and immediately I fled the scene. To my surprise the Crack Heartless did not pursue me, but instead watched for a moment and then wandered off. I was left thinking of these mind scarring pairings for the rest of the day, and I refused to leave my room for quite some time. While some of the names I'd heard in the Crack Heartless's cries had been familiar, others weren't, but the ones I recognized belonged to little girls -most likely only a fourth of my age. Such disturbing pairings, thoughts that never would have crossed my mind... The influence of the Crack Heartless was far more powerful on me than that of the Yaoi Heartless, more so in the aspect that I could not rid my thoughts of these pairings...

Once I regained my composure, I returned my attention to studying this odd heartless. Apparently, Het pairings were not all that it cried. As I followed it, I noticed it shouting yaoi and yuri pairings after its prey -yet nothing a normal yaoi/yuri fangirl/boy would have thought up. There were cries of TerraLea, AquaYuffie, EraqusIsa, XionAerith and ScroogeIenzo flying throughout town. I was compelled to keep Ienzo away from the elderly duck that wandered the town, thanks to the influence of the Crack Heartless, and most of my students were too embarrassed to walk on the street for days.

It appears that the Crack Heartless is fond of any and every pairing that makes no sense. The farther from canon the better. It also seems partial to pairings involving people from different fandoms! After it had finished shouting some bizarre pairings at me (including one pairing my good friend Mickey with a girl named Namine...), it began spouting more. I heard my own named paired with someone named "Rukia", as well as "Carly", "Maximum Ride", and "Riza Hawkeye." I must look these people up when I get the chance...

The Crack Heartless appears to be naive and innocent, almost as if it isn't aware of the affect the pairings it cries have on people. It's a very social heartless and loves being around people and even other heartless. I spotted it just the other day, scuttling about with the Yaoi Heartless and screaming yaoi pairings after some young men. However, as the pairings got more bizarre, the Yaoi Heartless took off, leaving its cousin behind. I assume that it must also socialize with the Yuri Heartless.

These Heartless are such strange creatures... I do not understand how they work. What is it they feed off of, if not hearts? Is it the passion some shippers will put into their ships? Or are they born with their power, and do they use it to fuel the fans, give them their drive? The Crack Heartless doesn't seem affected by anything. It's very flexible, but when in a shipping battle, it becomes quite brutal: it always has a crack pairing up its sleeve, and each one is more shocking or even life scarring than the last.

The more I learn about these creatures, the more they baffle me. Will I ever make sense of them? Only time shall tell...

_ ~Ansem_

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><p><strong>There was the Crack Heartless... He's kind of like a puppy... A puppy that scars you for life... I wanna pet it...<strong>

**Next up is the Cargo Heartless! Read and Review, or the Crack Heartless will scar you for life!**_  
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	4. The Cargo Heartless

**Sorry this took so long, guys... Special thanks to Atumus who reminded me that this fic existed XD Seriously though, I'm sorry. I like this fic, and I'm ctually going to finish a multi-chapter thing for once in my life XD**

**Enjoy the Cargo Heartless X3**_  
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><p><em>Ansem's Journal: Entry #448 -The Cargo Heartless<em>

It's been awhile since I last recorded any of my finding on these rare Heartless, hasn't it? Unfortunately, the time between my spotting has grown longer and longer, until I feared I may never see another one again (though in the case of the Yaoi Heartless, I supposed that's a good thing)... It wasn't until a few days ago, when I spotted a wooden crate scuttling about the plaza in Radiant Garden that my spirits rose again.

Upon lifting said crate, I was surprised -and almost delighted -to find a dark gray heartless staring up at me. It blinked a few time, cocked its head, then shouted "AnsemxScarf!", pulled the crate back over its head and scampered away -tripping several pedestrians in its path. For a moment I could only stare, dumbfounded. It seemed I had discovered another one of these strange Heartless.

I have decided to name this bizarre sub-species "Shipping Heartless."

This Heartless was about the same size as the Yuri Heartless, and a darker shade of gray than the Crack Heartless, as well as the same white eyes shared by all the Shipping Heartless. From what I've seen, it always carries a wooden crate over its head like a turtle shell, and I've often spotted it with the Crack Heartless. For appropriate reasons, I have dubbed this creature the Cargo Heartless.

If the other Heartless are anything to go by, I assume that the Cargo Heartless is rather small due to the lack of support of serious cargo shipping. Cargo is usually considered a form of crack pairing. For those reading this journal in the years to come, in case you are unaware, cargo shipping is the case in which someone is paired with an inanimate object. I've seen many cases of this in fandoms such as "Final Fantasy", "Sonic the Hedgehog" and others, but the Cargo Heartless has had a field day here in Kingdom Hearts... Following it, I managed to collect a list of pairings it seems to favor:

"Roxas x Sea Salt Icecream!"

"Axel x Chakrams!"

"Sora x Paopu Fruit!"

"Zexion x Lexicon!"

"Zexion x Wall!"

"Kairi x Keyblade!"

"Namine x Sketchbook!"

And many, many more. Many of these pairings were jarring to me -the idea of these people loving their weapons and things like _that_? It was a strange mental image indeed. However, since the Cargo Heartless has rarely been spotted far from the Crack Heartless, it was easy to except these pairings as nothing more than crack. The Crack Heartless even joined in a few times during the Cargo Heartless's attacks, giving off its own battlecries:

"Axel x Keyblade!"

"Roxas x Chakram!"

"AkuRokuShi X Clock Tower!"

"Xemnas x Zebra Suit!"

"Saix x Sitar!"

"Reno x Ckakram!"

"Axel x Rod!"

Watching the two was strange indeed.

It seems the more I see of these Heartless, the more confused I grow... They look like ordinary Heartless, minus the color, but their behavior is so strange. I still haven't been able to figure out whether the fandom mimics them or vice versa, though I believe it would make more sense if they mimicked the ways of the fandom. After all, how could the obsessions of thousands of fans be held in balance by a handful of Heartless? It just doesn't seem plausible.

How the Cargo Heartless came to be, I have no idea, just like the origins of the Yuri and Crack Heartless. Was there a certain cargo pairing that brought it to life? Or did it come into being when cargo shipping became more well known and popular? Just thinking about it vexes me and gives me a headache...

As for the Cargo Heartless's connection to its box, it's very protective of it. Once, I tried pulling the box away from it, and it burst into some sort of hissy-fit, launching itself at me with its claws flying. Startled, I dropped the box and backed away, yet once the crate was free it paid no more attention to me and crawled back inside of it.

I've seen Heartless whose powers are directly connected to inanimate objects. I've encountered several Heartless who grant immunity to other Heartless through the power of a book, but once the book is removed they are powerless. The Cargo Heartless may be the same. I'll have to look deeper into it... It's the only Shipping Heartless I've seen that carries an item, though it doesn't seem to have any use for it other than as a hideaway of some sort. Could it be that this crate is nothing more than a toy? Or maybe something used to distinguish itself from the Crack Heartless? Observations have already implied that the Shipping Heartless are more intelligent than your average run off the mill Shadow variety, and that the only time they show outright aggression is when they feel threatened. Though the Yaoi and Yuri Heartless's form of assault toward it's prey is arguable, especially to the victims dealing with the cries of unwanted yaoi and yuri pairings.

The Shipping Heartless never fail to baffle me. Sometimes I wonder if it's just some dream or illusion, and they're all in my head. I'm not quite sure what to do with this information either.

One thing is for sure though, these Heartless are strange creatures. And it's my duty to learn all I can about them.

Until next time,

_~Ansem_

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><p><strong>The cargo Heartless is cute too... I want one of them, too! I'll have the Mary Sue Heartless up asap, and I'm adding the Canon Heartless to the list -six chaps instead of five 8D In the mean time, drop a review~ Thanks!<strong>


	5. The Mary Sue Heartless

**I'm finally back! Sorry again TT I'm lazzzzyyy... nd school's starting soon' ;; I won't be able to update much starting december, I think. Not that I update much now, anyways... Any way, Ansem has discovered the Mary Sue Heartless in all of it's adorable evilness!**

**Also, there is a new Heartless after this! Two, actually! One is the Canon heartless, and the other is... Crap, I forgot ;; Oh well, I'll check later. Enjoy!**_  
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><p><em>Ansem's Journal: Entry 426- The Mary Sue Heartless<em>

Again, another fruitless few months... My journal pages are filled with sketches of these bizarre Heartless, and I've been having my men study them whenever they see them. I'd finally come to the conclusion that the Heartless are influenced and react based on the direction of the fandom, when I came across the next Heartless in the Shipping Heartless batch- The Mary Sue Heartless.

Of all the bizarre and amazing Heartless I've seen, never had I seen one that was so utterly _adorable_. It looked like a shadow Heartless, though considerably smaller -at least two thirds the size of a normal one -and it's color was remarkable: it had stripes of every color of the rainbow. It seemed to shimmer in the light. It had beautiful, luminescent wings softer than down, and enormous, baby blue orbs-

Urgh... I still haven't shaken off it's effects.

Anyway, when I first encountered the little Heartless, I was captivated by it's appearance. When it came up to me, I was slightly less wary -after all, the Crack and Cargo heartless had been sweet little fellows, despite the pairings they shouted. The Mary Sue Heartless padded right over and began nuzzling my hand, purring musically. It felt like it was covered in a fine layer of luxuriously soft fur. I couldn't resist petting it, and when I did, it climbed up my arm and sat on my shoulder, nuzzling my head like a kitten. Delighted by the sweet little creature, I wasn't sure what I should call the creature. I soon found out, though.

For those who aren't aware of what a "Mary Sue" is, let me enlighten you. A Mary Sue is a character who is perfect, beautiful, flawless and usually lacks a personality or originality. Their background is overly angsty, and usually controversial. They steal main character's love interests (and roles), have amazing weapons and powers, and have a tendency to take over the show. Several characters in Kingdom Hearts have been accused of Sue-dom: Xion, Namine, and even radiant Garden's very own Kairi, the poor girl. Sora, the hero of the story, has also been accused of being a "Gary Stu", the male version of a Sue, since he's so loveable and the universe revolves around him. Oops, I seem to be going off on a tangent.

As I walked along with the seemingly sweet Heartless on my shoulder, I started to hear strange sounds. Soft little whispers entered my ears, ushered voices telling me the things they could do for me.

"We can make you better."

"Yes, more perfect."

"We'll make you handsome."

"Everyone will love you."

"We can make you _perfect._"

The voices were delicate, alluring. Yet they failed to tempt me. In fact, I found them rather disturbing. When I looked over, I realized the one talking... Was the _Heartless._ It didn't have a mouth to move, but there it was, whispering into my ear. Shocked, I brushed it off my shoulder and it fluttered next to me, crying that it would "Make me perfect." No one else seemed to hear it, or notice it for that matter. In a tizzy, I hurried home -yet it followed me.

For the next few days, the Heartless flew behind me, rested on my shoulder -and to my shock it brought friends. One day there was one, the next, two. Then four. The number stopped at seven, and they watched me contentedly, with those giant, adorable eyes. It was tempting to scoop them up and snuggle them, to caress them and love them. Because they're Mary Sue Heartless. Just like the creature's they're named for, they are perfect, and they draw everyone in. Characters can't help it- the power of a Mary Sue bends their will. We don't know any better. Luckily, it seems their powers work more on females -especially in fandoms that are owned by yaoi fangirls, like ours.

Eventually, after ignoring them for over a week, the Mary Sue Heartlesses abandoned me in search of new prey.

Studying these Heartless was a difficult job. They did whatever they could to win us over. Poor Ienzo was enthralled by them, and both Even and Aeleus had to pry him away. Afterward, he returned to normal, as thought nothing had ever happened.

These Heartless perplexed me, throwing my theory down the toilet. Here was this little Heartless, bending characters to its will. It didn't seem to follow my thoughts. They also followed different rules than the others. While there seemed to be only one Yaoi, Yuri, Crack and Cargo Heartless (I'd tagged them, and not once have I seen one without its tag), there were innumerable Mary Sue Heartless. They travelled in little packs of up to seven (never more, surprisingly), and they congregated around a character until they gave up and moved on. It was a strange thing to see. I just couldn't understand it.

That was when I figured it out. The Mary Sue Heartless didn't act on its own. Like the Yaoi Heartless, knew what the fans thought, and so it set out to try and make it true. The Yaoi Heartless knew many fans wanted yaoi, and so it tried to bend poor males' wills to their desires. same with the other Shipping Heartless. As for the Mary Sue Heartless... It knew what the fans thought. It knew how many people dubbed the poor girls of KH as Mary Sues, and so it went about to try and make them into true Sues. A devious, ingenious little creature it was, taking on such a sweet and lovable appearance in hopes that it would worm its way into girls' hearts and convert them to Suedom.

I've decided to put the Mary Sue Heartless under a different class than the Shipping Heartless. For now, it will be known as a Fandom Heartless- a Heartless that actively works upon the fan's accusations and strives to make them right.

It's amazing how such a cute little thing has such scary potential. Just the other day, I saw a few of them sitting in young Kairi's lap. She was petting them and talking to them, and they all watched her with such undivided attention... It sent chills down my spine. Yet when her Grandmother saw her, she thought she was talking to "Imaginary Friends." It's scary to think what these Heartless could be capable of, especially on the weak minded.

I must research these bizarre little Heartless so that I may help to stop them from converting any helpless citizens into Sues.

Now excuse me, I must go and see if I can't get those Heartless to leave Kairi alone. I hope her grandmother doesn't smack me with a broom again...

_~Ansem_

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><p><strong>Ansem got thumped for talking to children XD Awww, Kairi's granny thinks he's a pedophile. Poor Ansem.<strong>

**I hope you liked the Mary Sue Heartless. I think they're cute. And they'll be making an appearance in an upcoming fic, someday. Until the next chap, au revoire!**


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